Memories From Long Ago
by Hollie47
Summary: Toni opens up to Cheryl and tells her about her childhood and her parents, and in return Cheryl opens up as well as they discuss tragedies that has befallen their families.


Twilight had set in over the small town of Riverdale as the wind blew harshly breaking leaves off branches carrying them across town to settle on the roads and atop of cars. People scurried along the sidewalks, pulling their jackets and coats tightly around themselves, their hair dancing in all directions. Pop's was full of people ordering milkshakes and dinner as they decided get out of the cold autumn breeze.

Inside of Thistlehouse Cheryl and Toni sat on the large couch, cuddled up together under a plush blanket watching episode upon episode of Cold Case. It was Toni's turn to pick something to watch and she had always had fond memories of watching the show when she was younger, when her parents were together.

The episode playing was about how a mother abandoned her daughter at the local church to protect her from her father who had just killed the child's twin sister by throwing her off a bridge. The episode to Toni was one of her favourites, she felt connected to it, felt the pain the daughter must have felt. Toni knew her circumstances were slightly different but it hit a place close to her heart.

Watching as the episode came to an end, Cheryl hit pause on the remote and stretched out her arms. "Toni my beloved, why is this your favourite episode?"

"I just resonate with it, it reminds me of my childhood, when I lived with my parents," Toni replied, taking a sip of her water, placing it back down on the coffee table.

"I know we usually don't talk about our families but if I may, what happened to your parents?" Cheryl asked, unsure if the topic was acceptable.

"It started before I was born; my dad was a member of the South Side Serpents and my mother was born here in Riverdale to a poor family. My parents met through a job they had to do. My mother's family had taken a loan out from the Serpents and her family couldn't pay so they offered her up as payment to do jobs no one else wanted to do. The night she met my dad they were running drugs across to Greendale and along the way they stopped and my dad took a small parcel out of the boxes and kept it. Once they had delivered the drugs, on the way back they stopped somewhere and got alcohol and headed into the woods together. My mum was seventeen, never had alcohol or drugs before but she was salty that her parents used her as a payment. She took the offered drugs and alcohol from my father and shortly after they fell in love and she ran away to live with him on the south side." Taking another sip of water, Toni swallowed feeling the cool liquid run down her throat.

"So your mother left her family to start a new life with your father, how did her parent's respond to that?" Cheryl asked, intrigued by the story, wanting to know everything.

"Her parent's didn't like it, they tried to get her to come back but by the time they tried, about six months after she left, it was too late, they were angry and felt betrayed and for a time they said they had no daughter. After the feelings of anger, frustration, and betrayal sizzled down they had lost her. She was living with my father in a caravan, every pay check they got they spent it on drugs and alcohol; they dropped out of school and did jobs for the Serpents instead," Toni replied, feeling like for once she could tell the story and not be judged for it. She held it close to her for many years, unable to trust anyone enough to let them in.

"That's so sad Toni, did your grandparents ever recover? What else happened?" Taking Toni's hand in her own, Cheryl waited until her partner began to speak again.

"They still haven't recovered to this day; they blame themselves for what happened, no matter what I say to them. To continue, they lived in the caravan for around fifteen months doing stupid shit until my mother found out she was pregnant with me. Raised the way she was she decided to keep me but every day she blamed my dad for not taking the proper precautions. She stopped taking the drugs and she stopped drinking, she tried her best to do what was right by me during her entire pregnancy. She attended all of her doctor's appointments, all of her scans and the day before she due her waters broke and she went into labour. She reached out to her mother and during my birth my grandmother was there by her side along with my father. My name is my grandmother's middle name; it was kind of like an apology of sorts. It was also the first and last time my grandmother and father were in a room together and remained civilised. When my mother got to take me home she had an argument with my grandmother about where I was going to live. My grandmother wanted her to leave my father and move back home with me but Mum was still in love with my father and didn't want to leave him. She took me back to the caravan, for the first few weeks my parent's remained clean and then at eight weeks old when I began being formula fed they started to drink again. When I was about six months old the drugs started up. My parents would leave me with whatever member of my dad's family was free while they went out on benders. They started doing drug runs again, leaving me for days at a time, when I was about one my grandfather had had enough of my parent's antics and decided to pull their heads in." Reaching for her water, Toni drained what remained in her glass, needing a moment to process.

"What did your grandfather do?" Cheryl asked, sitting cross-legged facing Toni.

"He did what any person would do, he sat my parents down and told them that if they don't shape up he'll be calling child welfare services himself and will get me removed from them and put with my mother's parents. That threat alone scared my mother so once again she got sober but this time my father didn't care, he still did drugs and drank like a sailor. My parents would get into fights over petty things and who would be taking care of me. When I was about five my mother's younger sister died in a car crash and it sent her spiralling. She started to heavily drink and do drugs again, she took it out on herself, blamed herself, and nothing anyone said or did helped her. She cut everyone out of her life, her parents, my father's family, her sister's family that were left behind. She didn't even go to her own sister's funeral; my grandparent's even offered to cover all the costs of her going. She sat at home all day drinking and doing drugs. When I started school, my father was the one who enrolled me after my grandfather told him too, he had to pick up the slack around the caravan and he hated it. He would leave me with family and get high with my mother, almost like he was encouraging her addictions. Every school day either my grandfather or uncle would make sure I had clean clothes and lunch, they would help me with my homework, pick me up and take me to school, they wanted me to turn out better than my parents." Giving Cheryl's hands a quick squeeze, she took a deep breath in and let it out slowly.

"When I was about seven my parents were being investigated by the child protection services, one of my teachers who was too good to be true noticed that I began falling behind in class and was being teased by the other students. She asked me to stay behind one recess and she gave me lollipop and asked me what was wrong. I told her about my parents and how they would use drugs constantly and drink, I told her that they left me alone without food and when my father came back home he would always throw the cupboards open, throwing aside what was inside looking for something to eat. He would get mad that there was nothing and he would start to throw plates, knives, forks, empty milk containers, anything he could get his hands on and it was mostly aimed at me. Most of the time when he threw stuff I was small enough and quick enough to dodge them but when he had me in a corner he wouldn't miss. He always did it when my mum wasn't home, I told the teacher that I was scared. I didn't know at the time what impact that would have. When my parents found out that the school made the report my father grabbed me and threatened to kill me if I didn't learn to shut my mouth. My mother was there and saw the whole thing and only shrugged her shoulders in response, telling me to stop being a snitch. Later that night child services came back after a complaint was made to the police about a domestic that was happening. When my parent's got into really big fights my mother or my father, depending on who was more sober, would usually tell me to go hide. That night neither of them did and when the police came my mother stabbed a police officer in the shoulder with our kitchen knife and when she was tasered my father began to throw punches. They were both arrested and someone dobbed them in as drug runners. They both got three years in jail for that. Child services ended up taking me away that night, in the morning my grandparents were all informed and the only one they would let have custody of me was my uncle as he was clean, a good man, had a job and wanted the best for me."

"I don't understand why your uncle would kick you out then," Cheryl said, slightly confused as to how Toni's uncle turned into the man he currently was even though she only knew of him through what she was told.

"He's still a good man, he wanted the world for me, he wanted me to go places and be the best I could be. Instead I decided to join the Serpents and he thinks I've thrown my life away. My uncle is just grateful that I'm smart enough to not do any dumb shit and that I'm still in school. He's proud of me even if we do butt heads." Getting up off the couch, Toni headed to the kitchen to refill her glass with water. Sitting back down she yawned loudly, stretching out her arms.

"If you don't mind me asking another question, where are your parents now? Did they ever try to get you back?" Cheryl asked, curious about what her partner's parents were currently up to.

"My parents didn't care to try to get me back; it meant that they could get high and drunk without a care in the world. After they got out of prison it took them seven months before they were locked up again. They were both involved in a gang bashing of some outsiders who tried to claim territory on the south side and one of the men was stabbed and the other one was beaten with a baseball bat. Both items had their fingerprints all over them and since they both died it was considered murder, my parents claimed at the time that they had nothing to do with the knife or baseball bat. Last time I checked, about two years ago, they were both still serving time."

"I'm sorry TT, I wish I could've been there for you," Cheryl said, feeling protective over her girlfriend as she ran her thumb soothing over the back of Toni's hand.

"It's alright, I have you now and that's all that matters," Toni replied, leaning forward and placing a soft kiss on Cheryl's lips.

"You do have me, and I'm always here for you. Your story, the part where your mother's sister had the car accident, it reminded me of my father's cousin," Cheryl said, running her thumbs softly over the back of Toni's hands, wanting to open up more to the girl she loved.

"When I was about three months old Daddy's cousin had a daughter, the photos I've seen of her, she was beautiful, and she had red hair and the widest eyes. When his cousin and his wife we're taking their daughter up to see her grandparents, around maybe four months old, they had a pleasant time with their family. They were on their way back home to their house in Greendale and they got into a car accident. Their car was hit by a semi trailer going way over the speed limit, their car flipped and crashed into a tree. Both Daddy's cousin and his wife died instantly, we got the call the night it happened. Their baby was nowhere to be seen, her car seat was still locked into place and untouched but the restraints holding her in had been unclipped and not by force. There was a search party out looking for her for days, some think she was attacked by a wild animal and killed while others think she was abducted. To this day we don't know and it tore my family apart. I haven't seen my cousins out of formal events for as long as I can remember and our parents barely speak, but then again I wouldn't want to speak to my mother either." Trying to make a light hearted remark Cheryl felt the loss of her cousin who she never got to know.

"Oh my God, that's so sad Cheryl, I hope one day you will be able to find out what happened to her. Do you know her name?" Toni asked, feeling the story hit home.

"Her name was Dorcas, Dorcas Blossom. If she wasn't missing I think we would have grown up being best friends, me, her, and Jason. I know I never knew her but I do really miss her," Cheryl replied, feeling her eyes hot with unshed tears.

"I feel the same way with my cousins. When Mum's sister died she left behind four children, two boys and two girls. The two boys were the oldest, they were nine and ten and the two girls were five and two. My cousin Melissa was the same age as me, we were born two weeks apart, she was slightly older and she was my best friend. Even though I only saw her once or twice a year we used to go on adventures around her backyard pretending that we were knights protecting the young princess who was Melissa's sister Kasey. I haven't spoken to Melissa now in years, I have her on Facebook and I like her photos but it's not the same." Tightening her grip on Cheryl's hand she gave them a quick squeeze, feeling vulnerable for the first time in ages.

"All my family is from Daddy's side, my mother was an orphan at the Sisters of Quiet Mercy and was adopted by Nanna Rose when she was eight to be my Daddy's lifelong companion. We have never looked into who her real parents are, some days I wonder what happened to my other grandparents. Did they give her up for adoption? Did they have a horrible accident? Are they dead? Does my mum have any siblings? I have so many unanswered questions and I wish I just had the answer to them all. I feel like at times I am missing part of myself, I don't know half of my identity and it really gets to me when I'm feeling low," Cheryl shared, never being able to share that information before.

"My dad's side of the family only has my uncle and grandfather left, my grandmother passed away when I was a child, I barely remember her but what I do remember was that she loved me and always snuck me a treat when no one was looking. I haven't really had anything to do with my mother's side, my grandparents moved to Vermont to be with my cousins once my aunt passed away, then a few years later my other aunty moved to be near her parents and moved her family two streets away. Since they left I haven't had anything to do with them. I get a Christmas card and a birthday card every year but I feel like they chose my cousins over me and that they left me here knowing exactly how I was being raised. They did offer one year to let me come up but I barely know them and I just find it to be very awkward." Shuffling in her seat, Toni stretched out her legs and took a sip of her water, offering it to Cheryl.

Putting the glass back on the table, Cheryl sighed and pulled Toni to her, hugging her tightly. "I love you Toni, so much."

"I love you too Cheryl, always," Toni replied, cupping her girlfriend's face and softly kissing her.

"We both seem to have pretty screwed up backstories, don't we?" Cheryl asked, feeling as if a weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

"We do, and I hadn't even got to the part where last year my cousin Tyrone ran away, he's my other aunt's son and once my aunt divorced his father he just left one day."

"Oh my, he just up and vanished?" Cheryl asked a little shocked at the information.

"Basically, my aunt went through a fifteen month divorce and two weeks after the divorce papers came through Tyrone was just gone. His father moved back to Canada as soon as the divorce was granted so I think he went up there, from what I've heard through Facebook some think that something happened to him. There was a missing persons alert put out as he's only sixteen and the Canadian police said they checked with all his family up there and it turned up nothing. My aunt thinks that her ex-husband hurt their only child but I highly doubt it, Uncle Max was a good father and loves his son. I think my aunt just thinks the worst of him." Taking a moment to gather her thoughts, Toni looked to Cheryl who was grinning. "What's up Buttercup?"

"Call me crazy but I just had a thought, your cousin Tyrone is missing, my cousin Dorcas is missing, why don't we go over all of the information provided and then see if we can get into the police records and try to find them ourselves. I know we probably won't find much more but wouldn't you feel better knowing that you personally did something to help. Like we're just not sitting here waiting for the police to do nothing as always?" Cheryl planned, her grin getting bigger as her mind raced with thoughts on how to find her missing cousin.

"I like that idea; it would be nice to see if we can do anything. First we'll concentrate on Dorcas as it happened over in Greendale, we can go to the police archives and pull up the original file, we can break in, it's no big deal. Then I was thinking we can go for a trip to Vermont and see what we can find on Tyrone up there. It might be harder as we don't know the town but we might find out something, even if it's minuscule." Feeling Cheryl's excitement, Toni grabbed onto Cheryl's hands and bounced up and down on the couch, feeling like a child at Christmas time.

"Tomorrow we shall get to the planning but for tonight how do you feel about a show called The Good Place? It's on Netflix and it's pretty amazing, I think you'd really enjoy it," Cheryl responded, switching the TV to smart mode.

"I've heard about it and seen gifs on Tumblr, let's get this night going," Toni replied, sipping at her water.

"Yes we shall, and tomorrow the fun starts for us." Wrapping an arm around Toni, Cheryl placed a soft kiss on her girlfriend's temple, feeling Toni cuddle against her. Pressing play on the remote, they got comfortable and began their marathon of The Good Place, starting at the very beginning.


End file.
